11:11 Don't Let Your Inner Critic Murder Your Dreams

Mute the Inner Critic. Give your Inner Coach a megaphone.

You have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn't worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.~ Louise Hay

While it can be good to hold yourself to a high standard, that doesn’t mean making yourself feel bad. If you’re much harder on yourself than on anyone else, it may be time to tame your Inner Critic and give your Inner Coach a megaphone.

When you are your own worst enemy instead of being your own best friend, it’s like punishing yourself for loving, learning and growing. We are biologically wired to pay more attention to negative experiences so that we can quickly assess threats to our survival. While your Inner Critic may be scrutinizing your flaws in an effort to keep you safe, it can easily become a toxic taskmaster.

Harsh self criticism crushes your spirit and robs you of the experience of being “good enough.” Mentally abusing yourself for every flaw or mistake, real or imagined, degrading yourself for your inability to fix things or guilt-tripping yourself are all the handiwork of the Inner Critic, who gets meaner the more you “feed” it with your attention. Don’t starve your dreams with disparaging words. Don’t deny yourself the grace that you would naturally extend to a friend. If it’s not tamed with kind words, an Inner Critic can grow into a fierce beast that can murder your dreams.

If babies held the same tendency toward self-criticism as adults, they might never learn to walk or talk. Can you imagine infants stomping, 'Aarggh! Screwed up again!' Fortunately, babies are free of self-criticism. They just keep practicing. ~Dan Millman

If a mean girl/guy in your mind pulls the rug out from under you whenever you get traction, it’s an invitation to take a deeper dive, as the roots of self-sabotage are usually hidden in the unconscious mind.

Only genuine self-love can tame the Inner Critic. Often misunderstood, self-love is not a sappy, sentimental idea for weaklings; it’s not about vanity, narcissism, or making yourself “better” than others; it’s not even a way to feel slightly better about yourself.

Rather, self-love is the essential condition for creating beneficial outcomes. Its activation causes a dynamic inner clearing process that uproots any self-loathing beliefs hidden deep within that counteract intentions of well-being and success. Self-love is a revitalizing force that shakes you up within, but then shows itself as positive changes in your mind, body, behavior and external situations.

If the voice of the Inner Critic is large and in charge inside your head, it’s time to put it on mute and give your Inner Coach a megaphone.

Your Inner Coach loves, respects and guides you to become the best version of yourself. Only self-love can heal the subconscious hang ups that “feed” the Inner Critic and create those unwanted conditions.

The more self loving you become, you’ll notice that problems begin to resolve themselves on their own and your life opens up more and more. Self-love encourages the growth of positive beliefs within the subconscious. Self love results in an inner dialogue which is kind and supportive, making it fertile soil to grow seeds of desire.

Spiritual Practice: 11 Ways You Can Transform Your Inner Critic Into Your Inner Coach

1. Stop All Criticism: Refuse to criticize yourself, ever. Criticism tears down your confidence, blocks your creativity and crushes your spirit. Accepting yourself exactly as you are frees you to make positive change easily; criticizing yourself keeps you stuck by reinforcing your flaws.

2. Forgive Yourself: Let the past go. You did the best you could at the time with the understanding, awareness, and knowledge that you had then. Learn from your mistakes and let it go. When you know better, you do better, so do better.

3. Don’t Scare Yourself: Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. Visualizing fearful outcomes feeds the bloated and beastly Inner Critic that ruins your dreams. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure, and immediately switch a scary thought to a pleasurable thought.

4. Be Gentle, Kind and Patient With Yourself: Don't hate yourself for still having negative patterns. Instead, be gentle, kind and patient with yourself as you learn new ways of thinking. When you forget, mess up or totally blow it, treat yourself as you would someone you cherished.

5. Praise and Comfort Yourself: Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing. When you’re feeling mad, sad or scared, speak the same comforting words to yourself as you would use with a beloved child.

6. Support Yourself: You don’t have to do it alone. Asking for help when you need it is strength, not weakness. Reach out to friends or family and allow them to help you. 

7. Be Loving to Your Negatives: Acknowledge that you created the negative things in your life to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs, so you can lovingly release the obsolete negative patterns that no longer serve you.

8. Take Care of Your Body: Love and revere the body temple that’s the sanctuary of your spirit. Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need in order to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise do you enjoy? Schedule regular exercise, food prep and rest.

9. Do Mirror Work: Look into your own eyes and say your own name and then say, I love you. I’m going to take good care of you today! Also, try forgiving yourself while looking into the mirror.

10. Love Yourself . . . Do It Now: Don't wait until you get well, or lose the weight, or get the new job, or find the new relationship. Begin now and continue mastering the art of self love for the rest of your life.

11. Schedule Fun: List the activities that bring you joy and schedule them regularly. Find a way to have fun with everything you do. Let yourself express the joy of living. Smile. Laugh. Play. Thrive.