I Am that I Am
Poor Jesus. He suffered a fate worse than death to show us that separation and death are illusions. He embodied a highly evolved consciousness, totally in sync with the oneness of heaven and earth, yet was surrounded by people who were too engulfed in fear to truly befriend him or benefit from his liberating message. Easter is a central tenet of the Christian faith which celebrates Jesus' life, death and resurrection from the dead.
Failing to fathom the enormity of the divine plan, his friends, followers’ and accusers’ minds were set on the powers and principalities of this world. They were unable to grasp the significance of the “good news” he preached. They misunderstood his teaching that the kingdom of heaven is within. They failed to see that by aligning with the divine plan they each had the potential to bring order to chaos and peace to troubled hearts and minds.
Jesus came to gather and enlighten all of the souls that were “orphaned” by the severing of their innate connection with Source. He came to awaken them to an understanding that the image of his “heavenly father” is also indelibly imprinted upon each of their souls. He came to demonstrate that their birthright includes the realization of a peace that would surpass their current understanding.
But in the mob’s zeal for bloody drama, Jesus’ good news got trampled underfoot, like pearls before swine:
Jesus: Why did you come
voice set upon voice
hand upon violent hand?
Cities fall to be rebuilt
to burst again and spill familiar wares.
Out of the cracked walls
you come
are coming, never cease to appear
keeping step, keeping time.
Ten thousand years of hatred burn
in your fists; tar, pitch, straw
you burn, crackling with maledictions
sputtering blasphemies and curses.
Did I not walk daily by your doors
did I not speak openly in your churches?
I chose to gather what you scattered
to save what you left out
in all weather and wind:
your orphan self, your weeping soul.
Now I choose to surrender
to let the counterweight fall deeply
into the earth’s deepest ground. ~ Catherine De Vinck, A Passion Play
The counterweight of Jesus’ consciousness unlocked a benevolent force capable of balancing and stabilizing the system that supports us in embodying his level of unconditionally loving awareness. During his lifetime, Jesus offered glimpses into this cohesive system and the underlying unity of all things. He sought to remind his followers of their membership in this greater whole. Jesus modeled what it’s like to be a human being who is one with himself, with nature, with other creatures and with the nondual Source he nicknamed his heavenly father. He revealed that humanity’s origin and destiny lie beyond the stars and that all the essential knowledge they would require for a fulfilling life was accessible through their spiritual faculties.
But his teaching fell on deaf ears. Their love of earthly power blinded them to the power of love which he modeled. Misunderstood and abandoned by his friends and most of his followers, Jesus was also seemingly abandoned by the heavenly father in whom he placed his trust.
Facing torture, Jesus cried out to his heavenly father, the Source of his being:
Father, why have you forsaken me
left me in this narrowing space, locked
in this air-bubble filled with the sound
of racing pulse and pounding blood?
Father, I have another life elsewhere
a freedom my memory strains to recall.
I crawl to the world’s rim:
and I cry out, cry to you
with the voice of all dying men:
FATHER!
I am your image: do you know me
in this scrap of flesh pinned to the wood?
I am your son, but where is
the meeting place, the point
where I touched you?
Beyond clay and rock
beyond human walls, I remember
yet do not remember at all….
The last dream is not of violence
earthquake and blood: the last dream
is of stillness
the quiet folding of the cloth.
I cannot unlearn my human ways:
I thirst Yet, if all sweet waters
were brought to me
in a single cup
they could not heal my thirst.
I long to drink from the well
over which the wheel of love turns
day and night.
I long to drink out of those hands that tirelessly dip in the stream
of compassion and pardon.
O my Father, hear me! ~ Catherine De Vinck, A Passion Play
After Jesus’ humiliating death, his followers’ found their faith pared down to a sliver:
Myths are lovely while they last:
they keep men’s lives fat with meaning;
but myths die or are killed in accidents.
I can sift fantasy from fact:
you wouldn’t catch me
decorating plain truth, icing
the cake of life with sugar roses
with the green buds of resurrected lies.
Get hold of yourself, woman! ~ Catherine De Vinck, A Passion Play
Like the disciples, we can lose faith when things go upside down. The invitation from Jesus was to look within for order, but like the disciples, we have been conditioned to see the divine as separate and outside of ourselves, far removed from our daily concerns. He promised to be with them always in the mystical body of Christ, but when his physical form died, they thought that was the end of his kingdom, and that he was lost to them forever. When he appeared to them in his resurrected form, his friends were stupefied by the sight of him. Jesus reassures them:
Peace be to you
my brothers, my sisters!
How often did I ask:
do you believe? And you said yes
but was it only a nodding of the head?
And now I come again:
do you believe, can you see
I am walking through the clouds of your eyes
I your Lord risen from the dead?
No, I am not a ghost: touch me
feel me. Does a ghost have real flesh
skin over webbing of muscle and bones?~ Catherine De Vinck, A Passion Play
By accepting that physical death is not the end of our life story, and reframing our view of good and evil as integral to our wholeness, we experience the interplay of good and evil as an expression of our shared humanity. Creativity is unleashed, and dancing with light and shadow, we experience oneness. Tapping into the living intelligence of the universe in prayer, affirmation and meditation, allows us to actively participate in the unfolding of an improvisational universal drama where everything belongs, nothing is lost, and all is ultimately forgiven.
On Easter morning, when he appeared to his friends, he enlisted them in his mission:
Jesus: I send you to shake the sleepers
to wake the dead, to say
past, present and future are solveld
in life’s single thrust
in the power dance of atoms
broken and re-assembled
of bones stripped and fleshed anew.
To live forever, never to die:
such is the human craving
the dram drifting from age to age
formless as mist in fields of air.
I send you to announce a deathless world emerging
from the sea of transformation
rising to the morning light.
The winter is past, beloved
the night is over: wake
from your ancestral fears
and see the empty grave, the folded linen
the darkness rolled away.
You live, you are alive.
Fear not:
I am with you always
until the end of the world?~ Catherine De Vinck, A Passion Play
Happy Easter!
So, Katie, this whole article is beautiful, as were the first two. Your entire interpretation of the Paschal Mystery as you shared with us here taught us some very valuable lessons about the magnitude of Jesus’ sacrifice for us, how to connect it all to our own lives here and now, and to gain a better understanding, on some level, of what this life is about, and what we can look forward to in the next one. There were many comforting take-aways here that I will want to read again. Thank you for sharing with us the fruits of your own internal wrestling on all these important questions. More Please!
Another beautiful piece. Thank you