To Get Where You’re Going, Be Where You Are
Are spiritual people allowed to get angry?
Now is now. Are you going to be here or not? ~ Ram Dass
You are here. Like those tiny icons on maps, your emotions are signs that tell you where you are right now. To get anywhere else on your “lifemap,” you have to be present with whatever is here right now. When anger rises up, you have to acquaint yourself with it before you can get anywhere else: To move on from anger, welcome it, feel it and deal with it.
Did you ever erupt like a volcano only to get shut down by a passive aggressive comment like, I thought you were more spiritual than that. Are spiritual people allowed to get angry?
Everyone feels anger, but most of us have been trained to label it “bad” and apologize for expressing it. Having been shamed for getting angry and never given the tools that could help us to manage it effectively, most of us learned to cope with angry feelings by watching others reject, deny or disown anger, divert it into physical pain, or project it outward onto someone else.
Anger is a surge of volatile energy in motion, hence, e-motion. While emotions can sometimes seem intense or too-hot-to-handle, when we utilize psychological defense mechanisms like denial and projection, we only mask anger; it does not disappear. When repressed, anger will take a covert form like resentment, complaint or criticism, which can injure and offend indirectly. It is only when we take responsibility for anger that we have the power to “metabolize” it and be free of its effects both overt and covert.
You may believe it’s spiritual to confine yourself to a narrow bandwidth of only love and light, but if you cannot be with anger, learn from it and discharge it safely, you can never truly move on from it.
Your anger is never about someone else’s guilt. Like the check engine light on your car’s dashboard, your anger is a message from your soul that tells you that something is out of order with you. Anger arises when something you are experiencing goes against your purpose or devalues something you value. Denying or deflecting anger is like disconnecting the check engine light: The disturbance gets louder until there’s a systemic breakdown.
No matter who or what seems to have caused it, your anger and your response will always be yours. If you choose to spiritually bypass anger in favor of expressing only love and light, your inauthenticity will become a boomerang that will come back in the form of self-sabotage. For example, if you’re afraid of being an angry bulldozer, you may overcompensate by becoming a spineless doormat and let others take advantage of you.
If you refuse to engage with anger,
you will do battle with your false self.
When a surge of emotional energy erupts like a volcano, if we can’t deny it, push it back down or fling hot lava at someone else, what shall we do with the intense and overwhelming heat that comes up? Let the surge empower you. Welcome strong feelings as messengers with guidance about your Real Self, as they contain all the intelligence you need to reach your soul-led destination. Refuse to judge yourself for getting angry. Remember that you have the capacity to not only tolerate your own raw feelings, but that when harnessed, those feelings have the power to propel you wherever your soul wants to go.
Let anger’s effervescence expand and disrupt you just long enough to clarify your purpose and get you motivated to make the moves that will get you back on the right track. Then let it go as it has served its purpose.
Let anger’s heat liberate you from the need to do it “right” or to gain the approval of others. Let it motivate you to unselfconsciously act according to your values, regardless of the consequences. Consciously-felt anger unlocks another layer of light in you. It shatters any artifice that blocks you from becoming authentically you. Every step you take can be a step toward greater love and wisdom when you stay fully present to where you are now.
We're all just walking each other home. ~ Ram Dass
Spiritual Practice
Anger: Welcome it, feel it and deal with it.
Next time you feel angry, refuse to deny it, judge it, blame someone or something else for it or tell a tall tale about the why of it. Be brave: Simply allow the upwelling of powerful energy to surge through you without comment. Sit with it. Be with it. Allow it to disrupt your status quo. Is it trying to awaken you to a hidden truth? What is its message for you? What action does it inspire?
If anger is here, be here now. Remind yourself that your anger is a messenger from your soul about something you value, what is right and wrong for you, not what’s wrong with someone or something else. Your authenticity is like a magic elixir that allows you to make a quantum leap from where you are to where you want to be. When you allow anger to dissolve all that is false, what remains is your true nature, which is love and light.
You've been somebody long enough. You spent the first half of your life becoming somebody. Now you can work on becoming nobody, which is really somebody. For when you become nobody there is no tension, no pretense, no one trying to be anyone or anything. The natural state of the mind shines through unobstructed - and the natural state of the mind is pure love. ~ Ram Dass
