Bless Them, Change Me, The Prayer of Brave Souls

Sometimes the ones who antagonize you are here by mutual agreement to prod you into becoming the best version of yourself.

Photo by Mateusz D on Unsplash

It’s unreasonable to think that you can argue someone into agreeing with you, but most of us try, to the detriment of our closest connections. When facing a conflict or stark difference of opinion in a significant relationship, it feels stressful. Getting someone to see things your way would seem like it would alleviate that stress and restore harmony, but it usually has the opposite effect; it creates a feeling of pressure that comes back as resistance, not cooperation. You can become so enmeshed with your point of view that it can seem like the only correct interpretation of events, causing you to become unreasonable and argue in an attempt to get agreement. While reaching consensus on a topic can be unifying, sometimes it’s better to lovingly detach and bless someone by allowing them the dignity of their own process, however eccentric or counterproductive it may seem.

Don't regard yourself as a guardian of freedom unless you respect and preserve the rights of people you disagree with. ~ Gerard K. O'Neill

Your soul expresses itself through choice, making your free will a sacred faculty for the purpose of growth. You designed a blueprint of the experiences you needed to help you evolve toward greater love and wisdom. Whenever you seek to unduly influence another soul’s choice, it’s a violation of their free will. Instead of trying to control someone else’s actions or opinions, allow your limited point of view to be transformed into a deeper, more global awareness of the situation by having the courage to pray: Bless Them, Change Me. 

The Master Jesus taught the prayer, forgive them, they know not what they do. He also suggested we pray for our enemies. Sometimes the ones who antagonize you the most in this lifetime are actually here by mutual agreement to prod you into becoming the best version of yourself. Sometimes, it is the provocation by your “enemies” that make you grow into a more loving, seasoned and mature version of yourself. Trust that each individual creates their own problems and solutions in a planning session before they were born. Allowing someone the dignity of their process means respecting their soul’s wisdom, and giving them the space and the freedom to work out their life by by their own unique design.

A healthy, vital society is not one in which we all agree. It is one in which those who disagree can do so with honor and respect for other people's opinions with an appreciation of our shared humanity. ~ Marianne Williamson

Everyone is at a different level of soul evolution and entitled to learn the lessons their way. Blessing someone who provokes you is a powerful act. It elevates you to an expanded state of consciousness where you can access the big picture instead of only viewing life through the blinders of your own narrow self interest. Instead of reacting by trying to change them (it’s impossible, in case you haven’t noticed) be open to love’s perspective. Allow your reaction to shift. Step into observer mode, take a break, seek understanding, be willing to be guided by whatever love would have you do in the moment. 

We can transcend the dualistic thinking that keeps us in conflict by making a conscious choice to see a broader context. When you substitute respect for judging, labeling or criticizing someone who holds an opposing viewpoint, you grow your soul. Obviously, it’s much easier said than done. It requires tremendous self awareness, because in our competitive culture, we’ve had so much practice thinking win/lose that we may feel we’re losing something of great value whenever someone disagrees with a core belief.

Practice sending love to those with whom you disagree. It can be public figures or people in your personal life. Whenever you’re tempted to argue, coerce or control someone, feel the stress and strain that position generates and consciously choose the Power of the Pause. Recognize the friction as an opportunity to grow. Remove your attention from the disagreement or resistance of others and instead focus it on cultivating a stable inner state of love and acceptance, first towards yourself for the stress you may be feeling, and then toward the other. It takes practice and conscious intent, but soon you can reflect your love outward, even in the midst of conflict, and pray the prayer of the brave: Bless them, change me.