Challenges as Sacred Opportunities

Ask whose problem is this instead of who’s to blame?

When we’re enduring a painful loss or facing life’s thorny difficulties, it’s easy to become despondent and feel like we’ve been dealt a losing hand in the Game of Life. It takes a spiritual shift and a radical mental reframe before we can start to embrace our challenges as sacred opportunities. Whenever we’re feeling defeated, we tend to view our problems as solid evidence that we (or they) are doing it all wrong. From a right-wrong perspective, fault finding and correcting mistakes makes sense. But if instead, we view our challenges as uniquely designed by the soul for the purpose of demonstrating mastery, then those challenges instead become opportunities for the soul to “high five” us as we learn well and graduate to our next experience.

When we stop resisting difficulties that arise and accept them as an essential part of progressing in The Game of Life, we can relax. We can get curious about uncovering ways to move on from tricky situations with integrity, grace and ease. Instead of fighting or simply enduring difficulties, we start to look for ways to sidestep, influence or resolve problematic situations. Instead of draining brain power and generating tension trying to figure out who’s to blame and what should be done to solve the problem, our relaxed mind empathizes with all concerned and can brainstorm elegant solutions spontaneously and with minimum effort. Instead of pointing the finger when trouble arises, we can instead recognize and seize the soulful opportunity for what it is, and pick up the tools and talents we need to do our personal best.

When we accept the things we cannot change, find the courage to change the things we can, and gain the wisdom to know the difference, we will stress less and enjoy more serenity. 

By accepting responsibility for our personal challenges and welcoming them as messengers of the soul, we are empowered by the soul to overcome them.  From the soul’s perspective then, creatively addressing our flaws, problems or limitations is our assignment; moving to the next level is our goal. Just as attempts at solving Algebraic equations reveal what we understand about the subject, whatever tests us in everyday life is a presentation of the subject matter in which our soul wishes to gain proficiency. Our difficulties are the necessary experiences that enable us to master both our core curriculum and our chosen electives in this lifetime. When we embrace our problems and puzzle out our own solutions, that effort is like a butterfly’s struggle to emerge from a cocoon; we become strengthened to soar by our heroic efforts to understand in the vulnerable darkness of not knowing. 

The Power of the Pause. How to Make the Shift From Problems to Possibilities:

Since each of us is equipped to overcome our own challenges, it makes sense to “stay in our lane” and address only our own problems. But how do we know which are ours to overcome, which belong to someone else and which are shared? Before responding to troubling events in daily life, pause. By turning inward and communing with our deep intuitive knowing, we can access our soul’s GPS, which will show us the broader map of the situation and guide us through difficulties, great and small. 

While we may accept the notion that solving our problems is the work of our soul, and that no one is equipped to handle the problems of anyone else, in complex situations, it’s easy to get confused about which soul owns which problem. Lack of clarity around who owns the problem can cause us to violate the boundaries of another sovereign soul by trying to sort out their problems instead of sorting out our own. Either way, we stay busy with problems whenever we’re confused about whose problem it is and whose responsibility it is to solve it.

Before rushing in to solve a problem, stop and consider, Whose problem is this, anyway? 

• Is this my problem or does it belong to someone else?

• Is this a shared problem or someone else’s problem that’s affecting me?

• Why am I trying to solve this problem?

*** If it’s your problem, take time to gain clarity in solitude or with the help of a trusted friend or counselor, as asking for help activates solutions. Embrace your authentic feelings, needs and desires so that you can be guided by your soul to act authentically, effectively and with integrity.

*** If the answer is his, hers or their problem, you can pray that they be guided in a benevolent way, but do not otherwise intervene. Trying to impose solutions on someone else’s problem without being asked is interference, not help. For those who tend to help too much, follow the Golden Rule of Helping: Don’t help at all unless you are explicitly asked AND if you feel like it. 

***If it’s a shared problem or someone else’s problem that’s affecting you, it’s an opportunity to master your communication skills to create win-win solutions. How you say it matters…a lot. Book an appointment to brainstorm effective communication strategies in your problematic situation, or check out this guide to compassionate communication. 

Once you’ve determined who owns the problem, pause again and ask why am I trying to solve this problem? Being honest with yourself about your motivation clarifies your deeper values and helps you to act on them. Consider if doing nothing or adopting a wait and see approach to a situation may be the best option. Sometimes we will feel a sense of urgency to solve something. But if it’s a problem we do not own, we have to dig deep and find our chill. Instead of trying to rescue someone facing a challenge, empathize with their feelings and express confidence in their ability to handle it: Wow! You’re handling some tough stuff right now. I’m confident you have what it takes to figure it out.

When we’re connected to our soul, guidance for the appropriate actions becomes obvious and once those actions are accomplished, produce inner peace. By shifting our mindset from viewing life as a series of problems to a series of opportunities, we can start to trust that everything we need to thrive in the Game of Life is built in. We start to embrace our life as a series of opportunities to gain the skills and talents that not only bring us serenity, but help others to learn their soul lessons as we play the Game of Life together in a freer, more harmonious way.