A beautiful article about a painful topic, but it's very helpful and encouraging.
I was glad to read the part where you said, "Regardless of the scale of the trauma we’ve experienced..."
The word "trauma" has such a horrific sound and meaning attached to it. When I hear it I think well that doesn't include me because what hurts I've experienced in my life don't seem to qualify as "trauma" per se. So I will tend to downplay them when I compare them to what others have had to suffer through. I will tell myself not to make such a big deal out of what I'm feeling, just be grateful, it could be worse. So, I was wondering if you could comment on that. Thanks.
Yes, trauma does seem to indicate "horrific" but in this context, it includes any encounter where we felt threatened. Thank you, Rocket, for pointing out a habit that's exceedingly common...and massively counterproductive. Minimizing our hurts by comparing them to other people's more obvious traumas just keeps them cemented in place.
We're responsible for handling whatever causes tension to rise in us, no matter how minuscule the offense may seem to be. It is only by resolving the specific items that steal our peace that we can experience freedom from old emotional wounds both large and small. Comparison with another is not only irrelevant, but keeps us chained to past reactions and causes us to expect and accept less from life than what's actually available.
Expressing gratitude for situations that could be much worse or "close calls" does not necessarily imply comparison, but if you are using that gratitude to dismiss or de-emphasize your challenges, you do yourself a disservice, as you may miss out on the healing power of empathy. Thank you for helping me to clarify this point!!!
Great answer, Katie! I recently got into a Substack comment "discussion" about this very concept: what "qualifies" as trauma? The author of the essay and I agreed -- there should be more words available to describe various levels and types of emotional wounding, so that the definition of "trauma" can be clearer for all. Discounting one's pain is, as you say, counterproductive.
Thanks! Whatever the scale of the hurt, the AA slogan applies: “you can’t heal it till you feel it.”Rather than comparing, minimizing, justifying or ignoring emotional pain, as many of us have been conditioned, we need to humbly accept its existence before we can unravel the source it and finally be free from suffering over it.
A beautiful article about a painful topic, but it's very helpful and encouraging.
I was glad to read the part where you said, "Regardless of the scale of the trauma we’ve experienced..."
The word "trauma" has such a horrific sound and meaning attached to it. When I hear it I think well that doesn't include me because what hurts I've experienced in my life don't seem to qualify as "trauma" per se. So I will tend to downplay them when I compare them to what others have had to suffer through. I will tell myself not to make such a big deal out of what I'm feeling, just be grateful, it could be worse. So, I was wondering if you could comment on that. Thanks.
Yes, trauma does seem to indicate "horrific" but in this context, it includes any encounter where we felt threatened. Thank you, Rocket, for pointing out a habit that's exceedingly common...and massively counterproductive. Minimizing our hurts by comparing them to other people's more obvious traumas just keeps them cemented in place.
We're responsible for handling whatever causes tension to rise in us, no matter how minuscule the offense may seem to be. It is only by resolving the specific items that steal our peace that we can experience freedom from old emotional wounds both large and small. Comparison with another is not only irrelevant, but keeps us chained to past reactions and causes us to expect and accept less from life than what's actually available.
Expressing gratitude for situations that could be much worse or "close calls" does not necessarily imply comparison, but if you are using that gratitude to dismiss or de-emphasize your challenges, you do yourself a disservice, as you may miss out on the healing power of empathy. Thank you for helping me to clarify this point!!!
Great answer, Katie! I recently got into a Substack comment "discussion" about this very concept: what "qualifies" as trauma? The author of the essay and I agreed -- there should be more words available to describe various levels and types of emotional wounding, so that the definition of "trauma" can be clearer for all. Discounting one's pain is, as you say, counterproductive.
Thanks! Whatever the scale of the hurt, the AA slogan applies: “you can’t heal it till you feel it.”Rather than comparing, minimizing, justifying or ignoring emotional pain, as many of us have been conditioned, we need to humbly accept its existence before we can unravel the source it and finally be free from suffering over it.
Amen to that!