The Game of Life

Switch Strategies from Why me? to What am I learning?

Photo by Joshua Hoehne @ Unsplash

People who understand the “non material” side to this material life experience, choose to be engaged in “the game” but do not allow themselves to get too caught up in the fear of it all. ~ Todd Hayden

Pretend for a moment that life is a learning game. Imagine that as souls, we make a plan before we incarnate on earth to play the Game of Life: We choose our family, our “curriculum” and even our potential “exit strategies.” We develop multiple complex agreements with others to facilitate mutual learning throughout our lifespan. To “play,” we take on a physical body as an "avatar" that enables us to interact with life. The object of the Game of Life is to evolve through a lifetime of experience until we know ourselves as one with infinite energy, aka, God. 

Like plants to the sun, our souls draw us toward experiences in the Game of Life that help us follow our plan, step by step, until our souls realize oneness. If we embrace these learning opportunities and continue to apply lessons learned, we advance in the Game of Life gracefully. Incrementally, we start to expand into the realization of who we truly are and what our soul’s purpose is. Playing the Game of Life teaches us that we are not separate from life, from one another or from God, and that our purpose is to overcome challenges, enjoy creation and be of service to life in our own unique way. 

I believe we are here for two basic purposes. The first is to behold with awestruck wonder the magnificence of creation, and to fully revel in its joys and delights. The second is to give forward from that nourishment, to transmute the gratitude into service to life and beauty on earth. These two purposes are equal: giving and receiving. ~ Charles Eisenstein

When life appears random, governed by forces outside of our control and we’re faced with gut-wrenching challenges, it’s easy to think, Why me? When we become worn down by constant stress, it’s easy to feel victimized by others and even by life itself. Soon, the voice of the inner monologue starts rehearsing at length how we’ve been wronged, who’s to blame and what “should have happened.” Though common, it’s a low-vibration mindset that results in misery, no matter how airtight the case you build in your mind that proves someone’s guilt. Whenever we feel victimized, we tend to collect evidence of wrongdoing and marinate in thoughts of judgment, punishment and blame. But by prosecuting that case in our mind, we harm only ourselves; it’s like taking poison and hoping the wrongdoer dies. 

As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I'd still be in prison. ~ Nelson Mandela

Equally common when we feel victimized, is the tendency to appeal to a rescuer to save us from a perpetrator. But when we depend on a rescuer to protect us, we fail to acquire the experience and proficiencies we need to solve our own problems, leaving us dependent rather than empowered. As long as we view life through the lens of victim-perpetrator-rescuer, we will remain stuck in drama triangles that keep us busy with conflict all day long. Good Guy, Bad Guy, Hero. These myths by which we sometimes identify ourselves and others fuel nonstop drama; they create unrealistic expectations by separating people into “goodies” and “baddies.” Judging, blaming and criticizing are counterproductive in a learning environment and keep us stuck repeating the same unpleasant lessons over and over. Critical thoughts just waste energy and crowd the mental space where bright ideas would otherwise emerge. 

The only way to “escape” the drama triangle is to function as an “adult” and not participate in the game. ~ John Goulet

Exiting the drama triangle and becoming a responsible adult requires a pivot from Why me? to What am I learning? Instead of judging yourself and others for not doing it right, get curious. Ponder what a situation has to teach you. Wonder what you could (not “should”) do differently. (Could connotes options; should is a demand resulting from critical judgment.)  Your curiosity and wonder will open you to perceive positive potentials that are not available to a complaining, comparing, criticizing mind. 

Adopting a learning orientation to life frees us from the need to always be “right” and find reasons to prove other people “wrong.” Curiosity opens us to an infinite array of possible options, whereas analysis along the right-wrong axis limits us to two. When we fully accept that we’re each on our own learning track, we can stop comparing ourselves with others. When we realize that we have no authority to correct each others’ “mistakes,” we can finally relax and just be. 

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about. Ideas, language, even the phrase "each other" doesn't make any sense. ~ Rumi

By reframing life’s difficulties, our own and others, not as mistakes, but as opportunities that increase understanding and develop talents, we can stop trying to analyze and fix everyone, including ourselves.  As we evolve spiritually, we start to trust the true self that emerges and guides each of us on our own path by the light of intuition. We embrace each learning opportunity with a minimum of drama, integrate the wisdom we’ve gained, release what no longer serves us and move along. As long as we’re still in a body, we’re apprentices, learning mastery of the craft of being fully alive and realizing our fullest potential. Problems do not have to steal our peace: Happiness is not the absence of challenge; it is the expansive feeling that arises when we overcome tough challenges. 

The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing. ~ Henry Ford

You’d probably agree that sometimes great learning is acquired under stressful conditions, and that genuine wisdom comes from life experience. Sometimes very advanced souls will incarnate and endure great adversity that causes them to ask why me? Although complex and difficult to comprehend, we each make soul agreements to participate in interpersonal “setups,” which can span generations. These setups, like the plotline in a play, help us to resolve conflict and evolve our understanding.

Life is the environment in which your soul interacts with the world through your personality. You are gaining skills, accumulating proficiencies and demonstrating certain principles through your everyday activities. If you’re facing tough challenges right now, it is not evidence that you've done something wrong, but rather that you are being presented with a high stakes puzzle to be solved for the advancement of your soul and the education of all of us. Embrace your learning opportunities, revel in creation and you will find fulfillment as you advance in the Game of Life.